I’m pensive because this year has found me seeking a new direction for myself in earnest. I’m disturbed because life continues on irregardless of my search and I’m not as far along in my quest as desired. Because I’d internalized Diane’s question my walk this morning was different. Birds and beasts went unnoticed as my head pointed down and my eyes were fixed on the pavement, mulling it all over.
Yes, and no, is the answer. Yes, my personal artistic and career passions have shifted. However, I have not had time to explore new personal pathways because there remains in the home a teenager, a daughter, my forever passion.
So, I’m walking and thinking. I even feel differently inside. My usual route takes me east toward the marina down a long winding sidewalk with cottages on one side and the lake, lake homes and common area on the other. Trees are nearly bare now, but a few oak leaves remain fluttering in the unstoppable wind off of the water. Suddenly, within the sidewalk I see these impressions.
Tiny sprouts grew into mature leaves that died and fell onto this sidewalk leaving their mark for eternity. They’re scattered about like the leaves that made them, these brown silhouettes of leaves that once slept in that spot. They’re beautiful, like paintings from God.
These particular leaves moved on but the impression they left remains and has changed the very surface upon which they fell forever. Such is true for people and relationships.
I think about my teenager who remains and pray that the impressions she receives and has received from us, from family and friends, and from others in her life fill her with hope and confidence. The impressions she’s receiving help shape her character as she matures into herself. Until such time as this passion moves on to college and her adult life my personal search will come, but slowly. I must be patient.
These simple impressions of leaves long gone are a powerful reminder to me that everything we do as a human being leaves an impression, an imprint, with someone or something. Our actions and words influence and cause effect, have impact, create reaction, and have consequences, forever. Nature is our teacher if we only but pay attention. I’ll continue to search for my personal passions but in the meantime the teenager remains. Thanks, Diane.
