Today's Challenge

Today's challenge:  Clearing out my hoop.

A very, very, very wise woman once demonstrated to me a clear and easy way to think about the effects others have in my life that I ALLOW.  You see, I can be a sponge - soaking in everything, every word, every action made by others and allowing these things to color my world. I take things personally all too often.

It isn't healthy, and for someone entirely too sensitive - like me - it can be very damaging to my body, my soul, my very health.

This wise woman held up two hands full of colorful hoops.  There were yellow ones, pink ones, orange ones, silver ones, blue and red ones, and one green one.  "Choose your hoop," she instructed.  I chose the green hoop.  Green, cause I'm a treehugger.  Not surprisingly.

"Step inside your hoop, so that it surrounds you."  I did as instructed.

"Think of who are closest to you.  Those who have the greatest influence on your life."  Orange for my husband.  Pink for my daughter.  Blue for my father.  Silver for my mother.  Yellow for my sister.  "Demonstrate where they are in your hoop - the more they are inside your hoop, the more they are influencing your emotions, your health."  (Note:  I'm paraphrasing - she said all this stuff much better than I remember!)

I'd been working hard on these relationships for some months.  Most hoops were firmly outside of my personal hoop, but one remained within.  This hoop leaned  up against my legs.  Not good.  This hoop is my biggest struggle.  Fast forward to today. Today, it's practically leaning vertically against my knees. I aim to shove it away.  Granted, I've come a long way.  This particular hoop usually stays outside my own.  Sometimes it is very, very far away.  Today, I have allowed it right back inside my hoop.  It's time to give it an emotional shove.  

It's up to me to bring my mind back around into a more healthy state of being.  Concentrate on myself, my world.  Today, this morning, watching the sunrise on the beach, pelicans and northern gannets flying and swooping, wild waves crashing, this quote came to mind:

"Don't take anything personally.  Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering."  (Don Miguel Ruiz)

Flashback:  Remember my post about Impressions?  Well, I tend to weigh every word I say, thinking I may damage someone's psyche.  Really?  I don't have that kind of power but perhaps really I'm thinking about how I allow people's words to effect ME, not them.

Don't take anything personally - got it.  Today, that's my mantra, my chant, until I can feel it deep in my soul. No more needless suffering.  I am a strong woman.  I'm going out into nature today to breathe in Spirit. 

Impressions

I’m disturbed and pensive. Diane at Alberta Photography threw a question at us the other day which drew me up short. “Have you found your passions have shifted?”

I’m pensive because this year has found me seeking a new direction for myself in earnest. I’m disturbed because life continues on irregardless of my search and I’m not as far along in my quest as desired. Because I’d internalized Diane’s question my walk this morning was different. Birds and beasts went unnoticed as my head pointed down and my eyes were fixed on the pavement, mulling it all over.

Yes, and no, is the answer. Yes, my personal artistic and career passions have shifted. However, I have not had time to explore new personal pathways because there remains in the home a teenager, a daughter, my forever passion.

So, I’m walking and thinking. I even feel differently inside. My usual route takes me east toward the marina down a long winding sidewalk with cottages on one side and the lake, lake homes and common area on the other. Trees are nearly bare now, but a few oak leaves remain fluttering in the unstoppable wind off of the water. Suddenly, within the sidewalk I see these impressions.

Tiny sprouts grew into mature leaves that died and fell onto this sidewalk leaving their mark for eternity. They’re scattered about like the leaves that made them, these brown silhouettes of leaves that once slept in that spot. They’re beautiful, like paintings from God.

These particular leaves moved on but the impression they left remains and has changed the very surface upon which they fell forever. Such is true for people and relationships.

I think about my teenager who remains and pray that the impressions she receives and has received from us, from family and friends, and from others in her life fill her with hope and confidence. The impressions she’s receiving help shape her character as she matures into herself. Until such time as this passion moves on to college and her adult life my personal search will come, but slowly. I must be patient.

These simple impressions of leaves long gone are a powerful reminder to me that everything we do as a human being leaves an impression, an imprint, with someone or something. Our actions and words influence and cause effect, have impact, create reaction, and have consequences, forever. Nature is our teacher if we only but pay attention. I’ll continue to search for my personal passions but in the meantime the teenager remains. Thanks, Diane.