The heart of the beast.I've posted an earlier long shot of this same sunrise. I don't recall when - you'll have to look it up. This particular November morning was clear, windy and frigid. Winds whipped my clothing, reddened my nose and fingers, and made my eyes water. Thank God for automatic focus as I couldn't see when taking the last few (tens of) photos. This is the heart of the sunrise. Looking back at the morning, with the cobalt blue and royal purples high in the sky, and tornadoes of winds and peach and fiery clouds lifting into the heavens, the heart....this deep red beating heart...of the sunrise was a warming force in the gale winds and one I deem favorite in the hundreds of shots of various and sundry sunrises and sunsets.
One day, when I get my head back on straight, I'll go back out and take photos and write pretty prose but tonight is a difficult one. Recently, I purchased John Mayer's "Where the Light Is" CD and have become fixated on his version of Free Falling, penned by another favorite singer and songwriter, Tom Petty. I LOVE John's version. John Mayer brings his own soul into this song and I cannot stop listening to it, and it makes me cry each and every time. Maybe I just need to do that.
How do you rally during the hard times? How do you put the daily crap, or Crap of the Year/Decade, into perspective and go forth and create? For me, today, my heart looks like this red, swirling dervish of nature.
We each have our devils who enter uninvited and unwelcome yet remain for dessert and one feels obligated to serve their best.
6 comments:
When life gets you down remember to count your blessings. I love your beautiful photo.
Donna
Hi Debi,
I like the photo. It almost looks like a finger painting- with the wide stripes of red whipping back and forth across the photo.
Your post reminded me of a quote from the move "Little Miss Sunshine". It struck me because I really, really hated high school and wish I could have skipped it. Anyway, here is the quote.
Dwayne: I wish I could just sleep until I was eighteen and skip all this crap-high school and everything-just skip it.
Frank: Do you know who Marcel Proust is?
Dwayne: He's the guy you teach.
Frank: Yeah. French writer. Total loser. Never had a real job. Unrequited love affairs. Gay. Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads. But he's also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare. Anyway, he uh... he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, Those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn't learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you're 18... Ah, think of the suffering you're gonna miss. I mean high school? High school-those are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that.
:)
Love your photo Debi. I too like John Mayer's style of singing. I will have to see if I have the cd you have mentioned. CHin up girl. All will get better.
Debi, you are not alone in your feelings -- these that you so eloquently and openly are sharing.
Since losing my mom I have been totally lost ... in every way. I try and try and try to become 'normal' once again, to not cry every day, to be "up" for all of those around me, pretending that all is right. It's difficult. You likely have guessed the answer I'm about to give about how I continue to create. For a long time I couldn't create. But now, I've had to adapt to creating in a different way. I've gone back to the photography and have left the writing alone to wither like last season's rose. I could bring it back to life but for now, there are other forms of life I must work with. I'm really just floating but the creation is there ... it really is there. I know you will find it too. Just let life be, take it in, feel the pain, then use it ... when it feels right. Don't rush anything. I fully, fully understand this uninvited and unwelcome devil. I've allowed him to sit but I no longer converse with him. I can now ignore him, even though he persists -- that devil!
Diane
Thanks, all. I really need to stop blogging after an off day or night - junk just glops outta my head like sour milk. You guys are very tolerant and sweet and I thank you all for liking me despite my weird ramblings!
Just awesome.
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